When a cold allows you to reevaluate the important things
It's funny how being sick changes your perspective on things. Many of my past goals and wants, all seem so vain when measured against the ever changing-ness of the body, of life in general.
Right now I'm down with a stomach virus, feeling like a giant hand is repeatedly rinsing my insides against a washing board.
...
Social status is pointless. It's worth nothing and doesn't help one in any way. It's a completely aleatory way of measuring relative value. I've written about this before in Hunting a Mammoth, but basically it boils down to the fact that we as humans evolved to be like this in an environment which is very different from the one we live in nowadays.
Money is another. It has its uses of course, but at the end of the day there're diminishing returns once you have enough to ensure you can eat and have appropriate lodgings.
Whenever I'm sick like this it's like removing some glasses that were clouding my vision. Sure, it's all a very unpleasant process but I think it is necessary, it gives me a chance to see myself from another perspective, to reevaluate who I am.
Right now I'm thinking how grateful I'm with my mother-in-law who just brought me honeyed chamomile. And with my wife who is taking care of our son to allow me some time to get better.
I'm grateful with the fact I have this activity, writing, to both entertain me as well as allow me to see myself more clearly, and to make note of the things that are important.
It's so easy to lose track of what is really important. We go after the next shiny thing in a neverending stream of shiny things. Always thinking that once we get THE THING we'll finally, blessedly, be happy. We think our struggle will finally be finished.
But that's not how things work. In most cases the happiness we get from the thing is extremely short lived. In all cases we quickly move on to something else, sometimes even before we've completely finished doing the original thing in the first place!
I remember growing up I would always hear adults and media saying things like a real man is a man with ambition, or those without ambition will amount to nothing in their lives. I have to admit I fell (and fall) for this trap, thinking I need to have some ambition to move me forward.
But if I were to die today, would I be regretting the fact that I wasn't able to get that promotion I was aiming towards, or finish that side project I was so excited about? No. Those things will likely not cross my mind at all. If I'm lucky I will find myself being grateful about the things that really mattered to me like family and the small joys one finds everywhere, maybe even the fact that I've tried (and perhaps in some measure accomplished) to make others feel happier.
In other words, I will be thinking about the important things.
All of this has been said many times before. Often by better people than I. Why is it so hard for us to stop blindly going after the shiny things? Why is it so hard to always be mindful about what's really important to us?
I think that a major culprit here is that we tell to each other what things should we collectively deem as valuable.
So maybe an idea would be to not only tell ourselves that X is something that's really important, something we deeply care about, but act in such a way that it's clear for others that this is the case. Often I find I smooth out my outward facing likes and dislikes, to fit in better with those around me. Sometimes it's more extreme, and I find I tell myself that I like something I really don't care much for.
In other words, we should be more authentic with ourselves and with each other. Be brave enough to let go of the vain pursuits that society imposes upon us, and instead allow ourselves to be who we really are.
~ Take care 🌱