The raven-haired girl

21 Oct, 2023

I used to have a recurring dream when I was a child, from about 8 to 13 years old. It was not exactly the same dream every time, but it always started and ended in the same way.

The dream would begin with me playing or just walking in some familiar place and suddenly I would notice that there was a pale, raven-haired girl watching me¹. She was always dressed all in black, wearing a dress or a skirt. She never said a word, but had a wonderful smile she wore often. Her hair was true-raven-black, long, straight, and lose.

She would gesture for me to follow and we would both turn into ravens and fly to her house through a conveniently positioned window nearby. This was a power she had, transforming us into ravens. Her house wasn't really in any place, and I knew it was impossible to get there except in raven form. The house was surrounded on all sides by a wall of thorns and dead trees.

We would land in front of the door to her house, a Gothic mansion with sprawling gardens all around. The garden wasn't what you would call green or lush. It was a dry garden. Mainly bushes, weather-worn statues, and a winding gravel path we would spend an immensurable amount of time in. In spite of this it felt very much alive, and had its own definite personality, with the water smoothed surface of the statues giving it an air of magic and mischief.

She had a butler who was always there waiting to receive us outside the front door of the mansion. The butler was the only other person I ever saw and, while afflicted with permanent seriousness, he was kind and looked out for us. Once he saw we were ok he would nod and disappear inside the mansion to perform his butlery duties.

I remember that everything around her house had a greyish tinge, sort of like a black and white movie but not quite so extreme. However, I never perceived things around me as gloomy. On the contrary, it was a magical place full of mysteries to explore, and nooks to hide in.

We spent most, if not all, of our time in her huge garden. Running around, playing the kind of small games that children invent to amuse themselves, or just sitting in some place out of the way seeing how the wind rustled the grass. I used to speak to her sometimes about thing that were happening in my real life, or ideas for games, or just small stuff as children often do. I have the feeling she didn't like it very much when I spoke about my waking life, but maybe that's just older me projecting stuff onto my memories.

At some point, she would get up and I would know it was time to go back. We would turn into ravens once more and fly back to my home but she would not stay with me. She would fly away to her own world, and I would wake up.

I haven't thought about her in a while. I wonder what she's doing now. I hope she's happy.

I don't know what prompted me to write about this. Maybe it was because yesterday I dreamt I was in a big city, and I saw a raven-haired woman walking next to me. I didn't know who she was but I knew we were walking together, and I was glad of her company. I remember feeling bad I had to leave her soon because I had to wake up and go to work.

It might not have been the same persona, or maybe yes. Regardless, I'm glad to revisit these happy memories. Hopefully writing about her here will give her a new home to live in, and who knows, maybe she'll get to meet some other people and visit their dreams from time to time.

#dreaming