On work journaling and authentic writing

14 Oct, 2023

It's been around 1 year and a half since I started the practice of work journaling¹. At the beginning it was kind of messy, with my notes not really having any structure, but then I discovered interstitial journaling, which basically guides you to write timed notes. Every day I open up a new file and by the end it looks somewhat like this:

10:00 — Spoke to Sam about the ring. We decided he can't help me take it
13:00 — I heard Gollum talking to himself again. I wonder, will this happen to me as well?
15:00 — I was thirsty and asked Sam for some water. I think I dribbled some of it.

My own notes are usually longer than these, with a single note frequently spanning multiple paragraphs of facts and sometimes even reflections. But I think this example should be enough to understand the point.

Work journaling is really useful by both providing you a way to keep grounded on what you're doing and giving you a log of occurrences you can refer back to in the future. Not to mention it's a great way to practice writing!

But I'm not here to convince you to start journaling during your workday, or to talk about the details of how I do it. What I actually want to talk about is how different it is to journal in this way vs writing here. Or at least how different I want it to be.

When writing on this blog I could talk to you about random stuff that happened today, or misc facts, or (worse still) try to build a brand². But that's not what I want. The reason I started this blog is to practice writing, yes, but not the kind of banal writing I do every day in my work notes.

What I really want to do is tear my heart out, impale it on the page, and send it to the void of the internet where (maybe) someone will see it. Raw. Bloody. Pumping. I want my pen to be thunder, and my words to be lightning.

I'm usually not good at talking, or even admitting, about how I feel. But I know I have a heart, I hear it in the quiet and stillness of the night. Once I rise from bed though it seems we lose each other. I want to (learn how to) be authentic to myself.

My goal with this blog is not that of writing a set of entertaining posts, or simply learn to wield the written word. It's to strengthen this connection with my heart, with my subconscious. Of course, having entertaining posts is a nice plus!

As someone that comes from traditional social medias I feel there's so little of this in my life. I'm surrounded by pictures and funny posts, people offering me an external view of their lives. And while I do appreciate keeping up with long-lost friends, I yearn for more. What about their inner lives? Are they ok? Am I different for having feelings, doubts, fears? What do they want? What are they trying to accomplish?

But it's not only them that are at fault here. I've never expressed these things myself either. It would be easy to fault our society or whatnot, but the truth is that I avoid it. I don't talk about these things with anyone. I'm afraid to be someone, while at the same time I yearn to know who I am.

With this post I vow not to write about anything that doesn't make me feel. If I do sound bland, or if you feel I'm just feeding you facts without any uph to it then please let me know.

I know I'm setting lofty goals. Perhaps with time, and practice, I might be able to achieve them. At the same time I don't want to set any standard for myself. That would be bad; trying to fulfill a script. I'm sure I'll write a lot of banal stuff on the way.

It's mostly a solitary undertaking, but I would be happy if you accompany me on the way.

Take care,