Judging is a trap
I was going through my Obsidian notes and noticed that there are a couple of almost-finished posts that are actually quite good—more than a couple, in fact. My intuition tells me it’s both good and proper to dedicate some time to cleaning these up.
I also noticed that many of these drafts are stale. The same goes for the ideas; I no longer care to write about them. Or at least, I don’t right now. "Right now" is the key phrase here.
There’s no permanent right or wrong. I am not an absolute judge of myself. Passing judgment is like passing gas; at least, it feels that way if one believes it to be real, everlasting doom. What right do I have to judge? To judge others, myself, or even things I’ve created? I can certainly have opinions. I can say, “I see that this could be improved in such a way.” But who knows if the opinion I voice today will still hold tomorrow? Well, probably yes. But what about a year from now? A decade?
When I think back to my teenage years, I often cringe at some of my memories. “Oh God, how did I ever think that was a good idea!” There you go. What seemed like a good idea then is not necessarily a good idea now. There are no absolutes. But one needs to be careful not to, again, pass permanent judgment. As much as that "thing" is displeasing to me now, there’s no way to know if my opinions about it will change in the future. I can definitely think of some childhood occurrences that I considered weak or unworthy when I was growing into myself, and that now—at 30—look like especially strong demonstrations of authenticity. But even here, be careful: no absolute judgments.
Or think about stories. How many do you now dislike that you once liked? And vice versa? How many games? Songs? Does that make them bad? Absolutely not. They exist outside us in their pure form and are only judged within our minds. That judgment (while transferable) is deeply and ultimately personal.
The saying “don’t worry about what others think” is a multifaceted one. Not only can you not directly control how others feel and react to what you tell them, but they themselves also can’t control or even predict how their feelings might change in the near future.
Judging, or listening to judgments, is a futile occupation. You risk digging a hole for yourself—one so deep that you'll have a hard time getting out of it—waiting to do (or not do) something but remaining stuck in inaction because you feel your desires are somehow incorrect.
Judgment forms the bars of your mental prison. Opinions are merely pathways, but be mindful of the slippery slope.
Everything under heaven is a sacred vessel and cannot be controlled. Trying to control leads to ruin. Trying to grasp, we lose.
Allow your life to unfold naturally. Know that it too is a vessel of perfection. Just as you breathe in and breathe out, there is a time for being ahead and a time for being behind; a time for being in motion and a time for being at rest; a time for being vigorous and a time for being exhausted; a time for being safe and a time for being in danger.
~ Tao Te Ching (Chapter 29); Ursula K. Le Guin translation
Words have power, as Ryan Wilson says in his short story. Be mindful of what you hear and what you tell yourself.
Words have energy. They carry a frequency. When they’re spoken, that energy is created and transferred to whomever hears them. Different words, different frequencies. Some low, some high. (...) You must speak words, listen to words, read words, and tell yourself words that carry higher frequency emotions. Do not belittle yourself, because your words will weaken you. Do not surround yourself with people and media that will make you fear, feel inadequate, mislead you, and put you down. Those words take your power away from you. But understand, you cannot control the external world. You cannot always control what you hear. You must discern for yourself. Allow in only what you feel you must.