Hello nice to meet you, what do you do for a living
I'm sure many of you have been asked this very question when meeting someone for the first time. After all, it is a great inquiry that offers lots of followup opportunities, the bread and butter of small talk.
But is it actually the best question that we can ask? What does it tell about our society that our go-to question when we're getting to know someone is to ask them what do they work on.
To be fair, it's not only the fault of the one doing the asking, but also of the one being asked; two sides of the same coin. If you think about it, most people are not comfortable with opening up to strangers. Imagine someone comes up to you and says "hi, let's talk about our deepest fears and insecurities". I know I would feel uncomfortable, and would likely trip over myself in an attempt to impress whoever was asking me these questions.
And that's why "what do you do for a living" works, it gives a chance for the other person to flex, and boast about themselves in an accepting context.
I think that is probably a better indication of where the problem lies. What twisted logic makes us think that work is something we can use to feel good about ourselves, something we can use to impress. Almost as if it where the most valuable part of our lives, the forefront of our reputation towards society. Why isn't it acceptable for us to answer with other facets of our life? Is it because we feel people are not interested about the tomatoes I grew in my garden this summer, or the fact that I have finally been able to talk myself into getting an appointment with a therapist? I feel like these should be much more valuable human accomplishments than having a good position at a well known company.
Also, why do push ourselves to impress the people we meet? Why do we have to treat connecting with other humans as a competition? I imagine there is some sort of evolutionary tribal behavior somewhere in there. We put up walls all around ourselves, walls that are painted with bright colors and are filled with fancy signs and advertisements, but walls nonetheless. Why can't we just say "hi, I'm happy for this connection, I'm grateful for the warmth of your human presence". Maybe that's a bit over the top but I think it's enough to get my point across.
I think a better question to ask on meeting someone is "what makes you happy" or "what do you enjoy doing". It's ambiguous enough so that if someone wants to answer with a superficial fact about themselves (like their work accolades) they can, but it also leaves enough space for that person to tell you real stuff.